| Go listen to my music please. |
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| 10:29am 17/06/2009 |
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mood: artistic music: My owns!
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I last updated 116 weeks ago. That's like over one thousand British pounds! That must be worth plenty in American money. If only time were money, as it were. Ignoring, of course, familiar adages.
Go to my myspace music page.
I posted some new songs. Three of them. I'll be adding a couple more. This is a big day, since I hadn't updated or even visited my extremely important Myspace music site in like 2 years, or my livejournal in over one thousand British pounds. Don't x me y, I really don't know. Actually it was because I forgot what email I used to sign into my music thing. It wasn't my usual one, since that one is used by my normal, useless Myspace page.
I used to like Myspace a lot. It was better than facebox for a long time back before they both began merging, since you could search out and destroy nearly anybody that existed, with no restrictions on networks or whatever. I mean, it was harder to find someone you knew, but you could see anyone's profile and pictures and send random people random messages and everyone felt free to do and poist whatever they wanted. It was interneck freedom. I made some friends through that site that I never would have met otherwise.
Faceboox, at the time, was really scary and restricting and I couldn't even join it for a while. St. Rose wasn't on Teh List, and unless you were currently in high school, you couldn't join based on your HS alma mater. Actually at first, high school kids didn't even allowed. Those damn teens. TEENS THESE DAYS. AND they didn't even have location-based networks yet! It was for college kids. Certain ones. I didn't really get it anyway. Why would I only want to be online friends with people I know in real life? I already know them. And what's the point of a site if I can't customize my page and get random people with crazy hair and insane profile pictures to be my friends?
I mean, I get it now. I never use Myspace anymore. Geez.
myspace.com/jacksonshelton Don't forget, go there now.
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(2 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| journal mode |
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| 01:36pm 24/03/2007 |
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mood:  dry, scaly skin music: aficianado!
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Time to start using this thing as a journal instead of feeling pressure to write interesting things. Most of what I want to write is uninteresting to the extreme. I think I want to actually keep a journal of days here as an aid to my memory. Just random things, what I ate every day, how much I spent, what I did while I wasn't masturbating, what the weather was like and how much I didn't like it, etc. Today I fried some raw sausage patties and 3 eggs and also had leftover biscuits from biscuits and gravy the other night. It was a solid breakfast. Last night at the blue-collarest bar there ever was, I saw Low Down and Dirty cover every song I have ever heard on 95X. My clothes still smell like stale drinkie-poos. Speaking of which: shot of Jack Daniels, Corona with lime (lame), shot of warm apple pie (Baileys with what tasted like butter and cinnimon toast in it set on fire), 1/4 of a can of Budwieser. The Bud was had in the spirit of the Phoenix bar scene. Then I fell asleep in Pennellville, only to be woken by Gina asking me if I was going to stay the night 8 times in a row. Then in a major melatonin haze I drove home and slept 6 hours until my nose woke me up. Today, breakfast, then a big hot bath with Old Spice bodywash providing the bubbles. I cut the inside of my nose shaving, but I smell really, really good. Tonight it's planned to go to Funk 'n Waffles to see a super8 film exhibition put on by local artists. Also, there's a Saab on Craigslist somewhere in B'ville owned by one Marianne which might be in the cards. I don't reckon I can ever own a car what aint a old Saab, on account of them comfortable seats. A 7-hour drive to Purchase even in a relatively comfortable Cirus made my kidneys ache within an hour. Anyways, first I'll have to learn to drive standard if I even want to consider Marianne's car, and anyway I have to go look at it and see what kind of work it needs. Plus, do I even have enough money to think about it, while still being able to afford future married life? I'm really very broke when I think about living in Westchester. I need to win a million lottos. I can't forget to eat lunch or breakfast will be for naught. I miss Michelle and Bryan a lot since the visit. I don't ever want to lose touch or fall out with them ever. I want them to be pillars in my life and to keep Michelle where she always was, as a very understanding and deeply comforting friend. I also want to play Eat Poop You Cat and Bryan's Mind-reading Extravaganza with them every night. Suddenly my room and the window are very soft and comforting. I should end this now and continue tomorrow, starting afresh with updates of inane experiences. PS: Yesterday I spent 15 bucks at the bar. IT WAS SUCH A BAR. Just a freaking shack with a bunch of white trash people in it drinking Bud Light, screaming obscenities. There was also a short socially retarded 40-something man with no neck, a military haircut, and a large caterpiller mustache playing pool by himself, who eventually challenged every drunk person around to a game. He played a sloshed buck-tooth dude with a toothbrush in his back pocket, a group of 17-year-olds, and Andy, who dated Katherine.. all the while remaining totally silent. He'd lose for a while, and at the very end, right as the other guy was about to win, he'd make a huge comeback and sink the 8 ball, returning to his can of Bud without a word. I clapped for him before I realized his ruse. The weather today is shitty. |
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(6 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| HELLO, DAD? I'M IN JAIL. |
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| 09:40pm 16/12/2006 |
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mood: bunny money, scarves music: some song i wrote
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I can't tell if I'm broke or not. Are you broke when you have money in a checking account and a savings account and a 401k and a joint checking account? And have a random 235 dollars in cash? According to me, yes. That means broke. What the hell? The only way I won't feel broke is if I have over 2k, 2 grand, zweitausend in savings. If I can buy something for one thousand dollars and have one thousand dollars left over, I'll feel ok. And this doesn't include my normal checking spending using account, because that money is for food and porn only. And p.. PORN? I mean GAS. Porn. PSHH. Real men don't need porn. I mean, It's really easy to masturbate, even in a dark empty room.Oh yeah and girlfriends and stuff help. And multiple Fleshlights.
Who is reading this? Anyone who is, I'm just curious, leave a comment, even if it's just a screaming or vomitting sound. Just because I haven't written in this in 88 years, and if people actually see this entry, I'll be amazed.
I have one million people to think about at all times. My job has taken over my lifeless body. Up at 5, sleep while driving, sleep on the job until store opens, sleep on break, work, sleep on lunch, stay until it's dark out again, come home ironically energetic, sleep on chair with cat, eat on chair with TV, sleep. Weekends are all I have, and all I want to do is NOTHING. Every weekend, more and more things build up that I have to take care of, like buying things and paying things and washing things and hanging things, not all the same things, and talking to people and calling people and sending things to people. And eating.
Today, saturday, I was up at 8. Somehow, nothing of substance was accomplished until 1. IN THE AFTERNOON>. ONE INT HE ADTEWRNOON!!!
Working a real full time jorb since 5 months ago kinda put the brakes on lots of little plans I had. But at least I'm still broke. I have to go to court next month with my free-of-charge attorney to plead guilty to hopefully something lower than a misdemeanor. Wish me luck! IN PRISON. |
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(27 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| happy freaster! freaking easter. |
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| 02:39pm 16/04/2006 |
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mood: laundry OH EASTER music: Badly Drawn Boy - S.P.A.T.
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HAPPY EASTER? Beauregarde "nudged" me or whatever to update. Was it nudge? Nidge? Smooge?
Well, my parents are insane. And Purchase is freaking me out, what with their closing of all their music programs to transfer students and all. It's not a permanent condition or anything but it significantly impacts my plants for the future. I want money for a new sitar. I need money to pay everything I owe. I want food in the house. I want my car to stop overheating.
OH! Sprechen of which, I think my dad (!) and I have figured out what might be wrong with my car, which is: THE FRIGGING RADIATOR IS SUCK. The thermostack is working just as it should. The water pump is pimping and pumping. The water is just real sludgy when it gets mixed up. But the car overheats slowly with no noticable cause, so somehow the heat transfer is just not happening efficiently. Thus, radiator is old and clogged probably.
Tuesday it's going into the shopola. I bought some chemical radiator flush so I could do it myself with a hose, but um.. I'm a gay apparently so I knew I would left something up real bad if I tried anything. I went to loosen the petcock, the petcock, the petcock, the petcock, and I realized I had no clue where the radiator cap was. Or, more importantly, how to fill the radiator back up once I drained it. I BLAME SAAB FOR PUTTING THINGS IN WEIRDO PLACES. So I'm letting some random guys touch my petcock for me and I'm paying them $59.99 to do so. Tuesday. We'll see if it makes any difference in overheating problems or not.
It probably will make a difference but it most likely won't make it work like it should. It might just take longer to overheat or something. INNN that case it's off to the dang pick n' pull or junkyard or whatever to pick 'n pull me a new old radiator if I can find one. Or maybe I'll have them re-core mine if it's cheaper. Either way this will be the last major problem my car has, so when it's ficksed I'll have a nice little car.
Car car car. Who car-es. Why do I talk about my car? Probably because I'm a male. Males think about their cars more than vaginas. I don't. I think about music, then vaginas, then .. wait no, I think about Gina's butt, then music, then vaginas in general, then music again, then money, then my car. I think about more than that but Gina's butt eclipses them all.
No no! I did not mean to make it sound like that! Do not picture Gina's butt as being moon-like in any way. Do not picture Gina's butt at all. Dammit. Never mind. Go away. |
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(6 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| FINANCES and What They Mean to You vis-a-vis Satan |
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| 08:05am 10/03/2006 |
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mood: idontsay evasion, isay avoision music: to the tune of 330 bdollars
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My car is a frucking MONEY HOLE
I can't afford to pay my car insurance because I need to fix my brakes. And I can't afford to fix my brakes because I need to pay car insurance. And I can't sell the car until the brakes are fixed.
FRUCK
$350 down already for parts, about $$$200 still to be spent on labor, robots and labrats, or maybe just labor. If someone were to randomly give me 200 bucks I would be fine. I could pay everything if I had an extra 200 bdollars.
They reinstated my credit card randomly after 2 years of waiting. The deal was, once I paid it off (which I did 2 years ago) they would open it back up with a lower rate. Well, apparently what they meant was: pay it off, wait 39857 years, wait some more, have a sandwich, then finally get a thing in the mail about it. It was frustrating because I didn't know what the heck! was going on!
But they reopened it with a 5.9% rate which is like, pretty dang good. 5.9% rats would not be so good. 5.9% of a rat would be disturbing, but better. |
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(2 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| 03:43pm 27/02/2006 |
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mood: late for work music: Stereolab - Crest
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Remind me to buy some CDRs ass-ap! Man, I need some new music to listen to in the car. My STUPID radio antenna froze off so, no more NPR. No more WRVO Theater of the Mind at night after work. No more Jack Benny and SUSPENSE! and The Great Gildersleeve.
So CDs it is! Which is better anyway. But of the 30 CDs I have in there, I have listened to all of them at least 2.1 yillion times each, and I have 4.9 xillion songs by artists on my computer that I haven't even gotten a chance to listen to at any length yet. And I pretty much know I like them all enough to like them. And they're all obscure and indie or whatever so listening to them would make me more hip.. and THE PLACE I listen to music now is in the car, so I better get burnin'. |
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(5 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| 01:18am 26/02/2006 |
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mood: kitty don't sleep on my face music: mom's asleep (stereolab real quiet?)
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I need to update sometimes.
I WILL SUM IT UP: LIFE IS GOOD! Incidentally right now I am downloading 2387 stereolab singles that I didn't have! And their NEW ALBUM!
YES CHILDREN, STEREOLAB HAS A NEW ALBOOM. It is called Fab Four Suture and it's.. freaking.. a new Stereolab album. HOLY SHIRT!
Ok, my life in .00000004% of it's original value:
1. Gave away sitar. Good. But I miss it. 2. Car needs new brakes WHAT A CRAPOLA PIECE OF CRAP CAR SAABRO SILVER SLUG 2.8. I'm still going to get another old Saab when I sell this old Saab. 3. Brakes are going to cost me 470 of bucks I do not have. 3.5. Let's not talk about my brakes any more. It makes me punch and kick. 4. Schollege is going .. going forward. 5. GOT A WURLITZER 6. GOT A WURLITZER 7. GOT A WURLITZER 8910. I OWN A WURLITZER 200A 11. Got it via eBay. It sounds exactly like it should and fits right into my life. Now I own a room full of a Rhodes stage piano, a Rhodes suitcase piano, a Wurlitzer 200A, and a polymoog that barely works.. but it's a moog.
12. I'm happy with life for once. 13. I made friends with Michelle again vis a vis a trip to Albonie. This began a trend of happiness. 14. Gina and I are still boofin' right along. 15. I feel like old me again, especially when I exist in list form, such as right now. 16 I made some friends, and specifically one very good friend, whereas before I had 0 friends. 17. I bought a bass guitar and finally feel inspired to record some olde-tyme Jack music like ye olden dayes. 15. I weigh 125 lb for some reason
DID EVERYONE READ ALL OF THIS? THIS MIGHT BE ALL YOU GET FOR LIKE, ANOTHER, LIKE, COUPLE MONTHS. But hopefully not since I SHOULD probably update this for, you know, other reasons, namely myself.
I should include my deepest and innermost thoughts here. Right here. Right beneath these very words. But I don't feel like it right now.
Definitely later I will though. You'll see. For now, I'll just go make some smackeroni and crap, try to feel like a little kid for about an hour, and then go to sleep with visions of getting up early and going to work dancing in my head. |
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(7 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| deliberations about pie |
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| 07:57pm 07/12/2005 |
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mood: post-target music: target music
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Mr. Journal:
And now, after work, the struggle ensues: "MUST... DON.... SWEATPANTS"
I bought some for wintertime running, but they are so comfortable that I want to wear them constantly. However, wearing sweatpants makes me feel like I have temporarily given up on life. It's a guilty pleasure, I guess, to come home from a cold and wet workday, with soaked socks and pants, and to put on what are basically pajamas, which I am also semi-against. In fact, it's almost a driving urge now, to don sweatpants after work. It has become a habit, a warm wintertime habit.
The main problem now is that it's really hard to divest of them once they have ben donned. This poses a barrier to productivity. It's ok to don them after an evening shift, when there's nothing left to do but sleep; but to don them when errands could still be run, or shoveling could still be done, or large beer-pong-related parties could be attended but definately won't be, is an almost definate end to any social or extra-domestic life for the night. When the sun sets at 4:30 pm, though, it's tough to maintain a strong drive to do things past 5. At least, this is true when work is always so cold and wet and uncomfortable. The electric blanket is gettin' turned on early tonight, lemme tell ya.
Love, Sloven Lee Jackson, Esp. |
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(6 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| not a lateral move |
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| 01:01am 05/12/2005 |
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The sitar is no longer for sale. I have found a much better use for it. No, not for making corpse pokin' sticks. This is a use that will have such profound effects that I don't even want to try to explain here. I will have to dissapoint Nick and Ryan and Nicole, and I'll have to sacrifice money, but who gives a crap about money WHEN POTENTIAL EVER-LASTING FAVORITE FRIENDSHIPS ARE INVOLVED? Only Uncle Scrooge and his little duck nephews would consider taking the money. I must do the right thing. I mean, I didn't even pay for this sitar to begin with! It was a present! I don't deserve to be compensated for my losses.
JDHKJHg I WANT THIS TO WORK SO BAD. I'M SO EXCITED. And I WANT to do this. It will also allow me to go to albany and see people I love. I also like that city. Lots of life-changing things happened there. |
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(3 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| BUY MY SITAR |
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| 02:27pm 03/12/2005 |
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anyone want to buy my old sitar? $200 or best offer. it's in good shape. let me know if you're interested. it comes with a case, some extra strings, 3 finger picks, 2 extra frets, and of course the actual sitar.
here is a link. this is the same model. you'd get the same case and little baggie of stuff, minus the book, unless you reeeeally want it. i also put quality strings on it, and added two extra tuning beads so it has all the necessary parts.
it's a Radha Krishna Sharma #1, student model, usually $350-$450 new. happy bidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 hahahaha |
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(5 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| severe shortage of shoppers expected |
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| 04:53am 25/11/2005 |
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mood: awake at least music: none but soon beck
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Dearest Journal:
If this is going to be a day-to-day blog of the life of J. Edward Shelton, it's got to start sometime, and it has failed miserably so far. But let us face it: this will never be a day-to-day blarg. If we're lucky it will be a month-to-year blorg, or maybe a decade-to-decade blug.
It's 4:30 am in the morning, and I am intentionally awake for to be to work at 6. Yes indeed, today is unlike most days: today is, by all accounts, according to those fat cats in Washington, and as all the kids say, BLACK FRIDAY
Imagine more than just caps right there. I'll be running cash register all day. We're expected to basically octuple or nonuple our normal sales. I don't know what the actual numbers look like. I can just barely read or count or make my own macaroni and cheese. How am I supposed to know what numbers look like? Some of them look like this: 4. Others look like this: 2 and this: 9. Some of them even look like this: 7. I hear there are some "numbers" with more than one "numeral" in them, such as: 82 or 47967630943. Don't ask me what they mean! They look like a bunch of numerals, all fighting for the same place on the screen. In order for numbers to work efficiently, they have to be allowed enough personal space to roam around in. If you suffocate a 3, he'll not give much milk at all and he'll spit on you if you get too close to the mouth. Observe: 0986(3)4979. See, he's all penned up. Fresh water and a large pasture and plenty of reading material are what he needs. (See chapter 2, Proper Care and Maintenance).
Thanksgiving included a large dinner indeed, cooked by none other than my mother. And I. Since those were the only people present. It was basically all the basic basics, with corn and no green beans, if you were wondering. The mashed potatoes (by me) were strangely light and perfect (which made me wonder if I had in reality done something terribly wrong to them, such as maybe they were really whipped cream) and the turkey, which spent time thawing in a pot of cold water for hours during most of the day, turned out to be the most flavorful thanksgiving turkey ever to be tasted. Thanks Lord for not only giving us food, but for making it really perfect to the point of being worrisome! Our food never, ever turns out that well. Seriously, what did we do wrong?
Now it's time to check out hundreds of young women. And of course, soccer moms. And men, and we mustn't forget, adolescent boys. "Would you like to save 10% on this purchase?"
THEM: No.
ME: All you have to do is sign up for..
THEM: Please, I just want to leave.
ME: Fuck you ma'am. Sign up for a Target credit card before I kill your family.
THEM: Oh, fiddlesticks, I always hated target and you! Especially you! I have always hated you personally!
ME: So are you going to sign up for this or what? It'll save you 10% and your family's lives.
THEM: No, I ... I don't need anymore credit cards. My husband will just kill me!... oh right. The killing. The family. Yeah, hand me an application. But I'm only doing this for the savings! Don't you go thinking I hold any affection for my husband or children. You'd be dead wrong. DEAD wrong.
Love, Black Jack Friday |
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(vomit on culture) |
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| let's face it, i'm sentimental |
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| 02:37am 11/10/2005 |
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mood: tell me i'm tired music: womb music
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Knowing someone for a long time and being separated from them for a long time is a strange thing, in this way: In the course of one's life, one is bound to meet other people who remind them in odd ways of an old good friend, and one is bound to recognize bits and pieces of characteristics of an old friend in various people, while slowly becoming less and less acquainted with the base personality of the old friend. This creates and odd phenomenon upon seeing or talking to the old friend again, namely a new and profound appreciation for the old friend's personality in full. The feeling is deep and unexpected, and includes a rush of comfort and I believe a kind of love. The inevitable unconscious seeking of familiar characteristics in people who are not, and never can be, a specific friend from the past, results in an impartial fulfillment of a need molded by a specific individual, spread out among multiple people. One tends to latch on to familiarities in new friends, but become slightly dissalusioned when the new friends dissapoint and fall short of one's ridiculous expectations, each one hitting and missing the mark in one aspect or another. But upon meeting the old friend agian, this grasping-at-straws search suddenly seems obsolete and pathetic, because all those familiar traits are found so easily and completely in one person. "You are the original!" one might think. "I didn't know it, but you are exactly who I've been desperate to relate to again. You fill this empty slot like none other, like a key in its tumbler." There's a warm feeling there, like listening to your favorite album again after years of seeking out new music. There's also a comfort simply in the unwavering certainty of that old friend, even when you're not with them; the feeling I'm trying to describe comes when that certainty is realized. It's better than you remembered, because it is exactly as you remembered! Expectations are seldom met, but in this case, they are met perfectly. I wonder if you know what I'm talking about.
It's like reading various humor columnests who you can tell are totally ripping off the style of Dave Barry, because you know there are lots of them, and then reading the real Dave Barry again and remembering exactly why he puts all the rest of them to shame. You really can't put your finger on it until you read Dave Barry again. Then you know. It's like meeting all the younger generations of a family, and then meeting the old great grandfather of the whole clan, and realizing exactly where all the kids got their various traits. Dave Barry is the granddaddy of all the humorists. An old friend is the granddaddy of all the bits and pieces of things you like about your new friends. Like a culmination of everything you seek. You used to take it for granted. But now that it's been gone for a while, a return to it is a surprise, like a return to the womb. What a warm feeling to return to that place. |
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(5 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| voxtraps |
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| 11:35am 06/08/2005 |
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mood: hexigonal music: new thing in fruityloops
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Kr. Journl:
Ok, did you know that Sominex, Unisom, and similar sleeping pills have the SAME ACTIVE INGREDIENT AS BENADRYL?? And if you did why didn't you tell me? They are completely interchangable drugs. There is no difference between sleeping pills and allergy medication.
So the whole thing was lame. I took the Sominex, and about a million hours later, I felt groggy like Benadryl makes me, and I fell asleep. Then I woke up a billion times during the night, which I hardly remember. I slept poorly for 10 hours and now I feel like going to bed.
Maybe I'll take 17 or 40 Sominexes and drink a couple beers and go to work. That way, when they find me, I'll already be dead.
From, Baby T. Bathroom |
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(4 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| freak-for-all |
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| 11:57pm 05/08/2005 |
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Mr. Journal:
Cleaned me a bathroom tonight. Ran me 2 miles too. Then I took me some sleepin' pills. Never took me no sleepin' pills before. Guess we'll just see about all this.
Love, Jim "Buck" Juensson Jr. |
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(vomit on culture) |
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| mimi's drive-in |
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| 04:03pm 01/08/2005 |
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Mr. Journal:
My mom found a huge cigar in a kitchen cabinet while cleaning. It is Bauza cigar. It is large and ridiculously fat. I lit it and it tasted like a cigar. I think it is Dominican.
Yesterday Gina and I went to Harborfest, which was unbelievably lame. It was indeed fun for us, but only to the point at which we became incapable of entertaining ourselves. We bought some art things from some kids in a local art collective called the Hat Factory. I got a sticker and a pin with a lightning bolt on it. That was basically the best part of the whole Festivale, which also has rides and an airshow and fireworks. Yep, the Hat Factory 8'x10' tent was the best part. We figured out that a funnel cake, which cannot be purchased with money but must be bought with Food Tickets (9 bucks for 5 tickets), ends up costing $8.50. Excuse me, but get out.
Then we went to Mimi's Drive-in, the least-expensive diner in the state! Probably!
Off to work now. It's overcast. Let's don't be like everyone else, let's blow this pop stand and fish for something more, like a golden trout.
Louvre, Jacksonre |
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(1 hip hopper | vomit on culture) |
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| 7-minute Abs |
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| 01:19pm 28/07/2005 |
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mood: fluent in spanish music: Wesley Willis - STP Conked Out My Engine
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Mr. Journal:
Last night I broke a record. I ran a 6-minute mile!!!
Although it actually stopped my heart for 3.1 seconds. But it was invigorating! Enlifening! Enlifening? Well it was great. It was difficult but not as bad as I thought it would be. I actually ran, not jogged. The whole way. By the end I almost gave up and stopped, just by sheer instinct. Like my whole body almost shut down and quit running, but I only had about half a block left and I could see the mile point. So I sprinted instead.
I like self-improvement and self-imposed challenges a lot more than I used to. I think it's a latent familial trait coming to the surface. My dad is the same way, but I never was as a kid. Now suddenly I'm my dad. His dad too is like this. My mom: anti-like-this. She does not like self-improvement because she does not recognize her faults. She does not enjoy challenges because she is lazy. I used to be more like her. I still am like her, obviously, I mean I came out of her vagina. But not as of late.
After the 6-minute mile I walked for about a minute, then jogged home the other mile. But man, for some reason my lungs were in great pain when I got back. They still feel tight. This hasn't happened since I started running. Here's my theories on that: 1. it was cooler last night and not humid, thus, cold, dry lungs. 2: I ran a freaking 6-minute mile, which I have never even attempted before, so the extra exertion made my lungs freak out. 3: I'm actually not in good shape at all.
Love, Eddie Jack Teddie |
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(12 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| 12:25am 26/07/2005 |
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Mr. Journal:
It's journal time again.
JOURNAL TIME! Brought to you by NEW! TOASTY TOES MOUTHWASH The Mouthwash that Warms Your Feet!
LATEST DEVELOPMENT: I can now run over 20 minutes WITHOUT STOPPING
This is a huge deal. In highschool, we'd always have to do this physical fitness test deal in the beginning of the year. The main test was to run a mile in under.. I think..12 minutes. Well anyway I could never do it. I would run and then lope and then walk walk walk and talk to all the girls who were walking. I'd run every so often but get so dang winded that I'd end up walking most of the way and come in right at the last minute. I was a big losey loser.
Wellllll NOT ANYMORE! Now, folks, I can run an 8 minute mile.. TWICE IN A ROW! That's 2 miles and stuff! Then I can even run more than that, but it gets tough around 20 minutes.
The trick is, I've been running CONSISTANTLY. How about that! Jack the runner. I've run 3-4 days a week for like a month, and the past 5 days I've run 2 miles a day. And I believe I will keep this up, because it's making me feel better, betta than eva befoa. Seriously. Stereosly.
My Saab had its problems. I was driving down the street one day, coming home from work, when suddenly the car got so loud I thought the engine had blown up. And I could hear something dragging under the car. Well, then I knew exactly what it was. Rusty the Tailpipe decided to rust its way right off. The whole damn exhaust pipe fell off from the converter back. So basically the exhaust was coming directly out of the engine. It blew my ears out of my face to even step on the gas.
So I pulled into a gas station, because I figured the dragging pipe was probably facing forward and I didn't want it to catch on anything and tear the car apart. I went over to the Pontiac dealer next door and explained my situation to the guy at the body shop, and begged him for some electrical tape, which he reluctantly gave me. I then went back to my car, and to my delight, I found a jack in the trunk next to the donut! Mmm, free donuts. So I jacksoned up the car and taped the stupid rusty pipe back to the stupid rotten converter.. and it took me 45 hours, because the tape sucked, and the rust just kept rusting right off.
So finally it was staying, just barely, off the ground. So do-d-do-d-dooo I drove off. Tt was still a little loud, but at least most of the engine noise was being blown out the exhaust pipe again.. until I DROVE OVER A LARGE BUMP!!!! OMG AND STUFF!!!! I saw the bump coming too, and I said out loud before I hit it: "This is it.. this is it! GHHH" And I was right too.
LOUD AGAIN, TOO LOUD FOR EARS Pulled over, pissed off, "I hate you car", stuff like that. I didn't want to drive, because the pipe wasn't just dragging, it was pointing forwards and was probably sparking. And I might have had a gasoline leak. Explosions are only cool in movies. So some guy saw me and pulled over, and was extremely helpful indeed. He pulled this great big canvas harness out of his truck and we strapped it through the car doors and under the pipe, and hoisted it up off the ground. Genius! Thanks whatshisname! (He gave me his name and cell phone number.. he was like 24 or so, nice guy, etc.) Kids these days.. so helpful.
Long story short...I mean long, I went to stupid Monro Muffler the next day and spent too much money on a new exhause pipe and muffler. I also learned that my car had been missing a muffler. It only had one when I bought it, but all the diagrams and specs show two. Now it has all two of them. And it's as quiet as a 1989 Saab can be.
And we all lived happily ever after in our cars.
Love, Whoever |
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(15 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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| SAABing all the way to the bank |
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| 01:27pm 27/06/2005 |
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mood: saturated music: i783
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Mr. Journal:
So, big news from the Jak Faktory. I have finally saved a comfortable amount of money for my first AUTOMOVEHICLE. Or car. Here's the deal: I could get one of many early- to mid-90s Dodge Shadows or Chevrolet Luminas or Ford Tempos with roughly 120,000 miles on them, for around $1000. Ok, sounds quaint. They'd last a while. ..But why would I ever want to drive one of those vomitty, styleless cars?
So here's what I'm thinking: SAAB 1989 SAAB 900S, 4 door "saloon", 115,000 miles, LOOKS AWESOME AND STYLISH, equipped with optional fuzzy steering wheel cover and typical hippie college kid bumper stickers
PLUS, I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DRIVE A SAAB, EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE 5-YEAR-OLD KID IN BLOOMINGTON. See, in Illinois right before we moved here, we used to live across the street from a fairly wealthy family named Haas, who always drove SAABs, and had them parked on the street where I could see them every day. Even now I can still remember it pretty clearly.. but I can't remember why I liked the SAABs to begin with. I just did. From then on, I've wanted to have one. Gina would know. I have mentioned my SAABlust to her numerous times.
Back then it was around 1990, so their SAABs would have been around 1989, 1990 models. Which is exactly the one I'm looking at. That's probably why I like it so much.
To drive it is even better. It's small inside, so I fit right in it and I don't feel short. It's very comfortable. The steering is SMOOTH and the handling is T-I-G-H-T, that's tee eye gee aich tee. And it has a sunroof. It feels so much like a small European car! Hee heee!
Also, it has A/C (which inexplicably didn't work when I got there, so the seller is going to fix it), cruise control, power locks, windows, mirrors, a tape deck, AND the ignition is in the center console!!
DOWNSIDES: 1. Yes, the A/C didn't work, but this guy's just an honest fellow who said it worked before, but it had been sitting on his lawn for a month, so I'm not surprised. 2. It's been in an accident. Not a major one, just a nice fender bender with a pickup truck which left part of the fender missing, part hanging off and split, a dent in the hood, and a cracked headlight. But it might have left the car with damage to that front wheel, because 3. The right front brake rotor seems very warped. The brake pulsates badly. This is something the seller is going to take care of before I return for another test drive. 4. It's old, and SAAB maintenance is costly. I'm sure something will go wrong with it if I buy it. But hey, maybe not: SAABs are renowned for their longevity, and this one seems like a good one since it has never had any major failures or breakdowns, and has no apparent leaks or clicks in the engine. 5. It's kinda rusty. But it's not bad structural rust.
UPSIDES: 1. The brakes work very well despite the obvious horrible problem with them. By that I mean there's plenty of pressure and the pads don't feel worn. They're new brakes. 2. The steering is great. No problems with power steering fluid or anything. 3. Suspension feels totally normal. 4. The battery is new. 5. The tires are new. 6. The interior is spotless and nothing is ripped. The headliner is sagging, but who cares. It's not torn or anything. 7. The electrical stuff seems to be in great working order. 8. It, you know, passes inspection and such.
The best part is I LOVED DRIVING IT. It was the only car I have driven that I actually really enjoyed driving. It's so small and comfortable. And substantial!
Well, Kelley Blue Book suggests a value of $735.00. This guy is offering $900.00. If he fixes the cracked headlight, air conditioning and brakes, and I approve, I will offer him $600 or $500 and go from there. Depends on what still needs to be done. I won't buy it if the brakes still feel wrong, or if the air still doesn't work, and I will get estimates about any other repairs from a mechanic before I buy. He's also going to take it in for an inspection and tune-up. He's really just a nice normal guy who knows a bit about cars and wants to sell his daugher's old first TeenMobile.
I love this car. I am so excited. I hope the problems can be fixed. I just loved driving it and I love the idea of owning a classic SAAB. It has so much character! Sadly, there are no other affordable older SAAB 900s anywhere around the area; not in AutoTrader, not in the classifieds or Auto Finder, not on eBay
ETC I AM SO BORING |
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(7 hip hoppers | vomit on culture) |
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